© Taylor James
Taylor James waffles with INJECTION Mag about celeb-studded podcast episodes, problematic buzzwords, and why we need to always trust our own voice.
They say you’re only ever seven handshakes removed from the King - but is it worth mentioning that I’m one handshake removed from Ed Sheeran?
In true British style, it’s started raining as I stand in a small square in the middle of Coventry, looking up at my destination: an industrial-looking building with three colourful boxes protruding from it. Before I can seek shelter under one of the roofs adorned with fairy lights, the door to the building opens and a man steps out, looking at me. His smile is sincere and the rain is forgotten as I head towards him and we greet each other for the first time in real life. I’d met Taylor James via social media three years prior when his podcast The Waffle Shop Podcast was just taking off and after both of us interviewed the amazing twin sister duo The KTNA. Today, Taylor proudly shows me around his brand new, sleek studio which overlooks the shops and cafes in the heart of his hometown.
The Waffle Shop Podcast, born and bred in Coventry, is a ground-breaking podcast and talks about mental health, and how it affects all of us, no matter who we are, where we come from, and what we do. So far, it has won numerous awards, such as a Mental Health Awareness Award & Best New Podcast, and featured well-known names such as Ed Sheeran, Luke Evans, Sean Paul, and Sophie Ellis-Bextor.
Taylor admits he often can’t quite believe that being a successful podcast host is his full-time job now. Nearly eight years ago, Taylor found himself in one of the darkest times of his life. What should have been a standard operation nearly killed his mother and left her with life-changing injuries. With the woman he loved most severely ill and subsequently having to become the carer of his younger sister, his life turned upside down. Only years later did Taylor realise that his mental health was taking the greatest brunt of the trauma.
“I didn't understand it [mental health problems] and I'd never experienced it. I was that typical person who thought it can't be a real thing. But when I went through it myself, it was a very harsh reminder that mental health is very real and that it affects you on so many different levels. When I started to unpick it and understand it, I noticed I'd actually been experiencing it for quite some time before that tragedy [with my mother] happened.”
He believes that being a man made it even more difficult to recognise and work through his feelings and, sadly, he feels that there is still too much work to be done. “As a man, if you ask for help, you're perceived as weak. And I don't get it because no one can be strong all the time. I also have a big problem with the current conversation around burnout. It's such a buzzword at the moment to bypass men's mental health. When things get tough, a lot of people then throw themselves into work or their career but in actual fact, they’re just running themselves into the ground and end up in a dangerous downward spiral.”
Taylor acknowledges that Western culture in the 21st century is contributing to this often damaging way of life. He mentions that no one is prioritising rest anymore and everyone is pushing themselves so far that it makes us sick. “We’re running at a rate that’s not sustainable, and what for? To impress strangers on the Internet? It’s literally ten o’clock in the evening and we’re still answering work emails and if we’re not up and ready to go the next morning at six AM then we’re called lazy. It just doesn't make sense to me, and I'm kind of over being told that I'm living my life wrong by someone who points at a camera.”
As a result, Taylor stresses that the key is to listen to yourself and your body because that's when things really start to change and you’ll understand yourself more. In the end, you are the expert on your mental health, you understand how your body moves, and, acknowledging the irony of a podcaster saying this, he says it’s important to stop listening to outsiders and instead listen to yourself. And that includes if, especially as a man, you feel angry.
He points out that anger is often misunderstood and dismissed. Many believe that it’s not an emotion, which is not just inaccurate but also a damaging way to look at our feelings. The 34-year-old is convinced that if you’re feeling angry about something, it’s an emotion you shouldn’t just acknowledge but also figure out why you’re feeling it. And that’s where many men usually get stuck. Ironically, Taylor never felt he lacked emotional intelligence or had to hold back his emotions while growing up. “I was raised by an incredibly strong single woman and my understanding of why people behave the way they do has come from women only.” But when his mother was on the brink of death, he felt he couldn’t show his emotions anymore, especially when dealing with other male family members. “Everything shut off because I needed to be the strong one. I couldn’t show that I was upset and scared, because I had to be strong for everyone else, which deep down I knew was the completely wrong thing to do.” He admits that he struggles to this day with anxiety, even when good things are happening. Recognising that even anxiety is a normal and natural response to life has helped him to move past those moments and even appreciate them for what they teach him.
“It’s okay to feel anxious sometimes. It can save our lives. If cavemen hadn’t experienced any fear, they probably wouldn't have run away from the mammoth or the sabre-toothed tiger. It's almost like a safety net sometimes, but it's also a very natural human response. And I say it quite a lot, you should never give yourself a hard time for being happy. So why should we be giving ourselves a hard time if we are angry, if we are anxious if we're having one of those days when we do feel a little bit sad? It's a very normal, natural emotion that we feel.”
© Taylor James
I ask Taylor if he remembers recording that very first podcast episode, the one that inadvertently gave birth to The Waffle Shop Podcast. He shows me his arms which are covered in goose bumps. “It gives me a chill thinking back to that day. I was so terrified because this was the first time I was talking about what I’d been through. For a long period of time, I felt like I couldn't, because my mum had it so much worse. So I felt guilty, and I was scared. After that first episode went out, I logged out of every form of social media. I went away, I cried, but I felt so much lighter. And then, when I logged back in and saw the messages from people, I realised that I wasn't on my own.”
He recorded another episode in a matter of days and had the same positive responses. He emphasises that his podcast was never set up for likes and followers, but simply a medium to talk about his mental health and what he was going through. And slowly, episode after episode, Taylor admits that he started not just to feel like himself again, but also like this was something he was supposed to be doing. Soon, he asked himself who else he could talk to, since mental health and the struggle with emotions are universal human experiences. So how did he end up talking to some of the biggest names in the music industry?
“I lean on music a lot; it's my biggest coping mechanism, and I just thought that I'm listening to these songs that have sound tracked a really terrible period of my life and I wanted to understand what the artists who wrote them had been through. I figured that I had to ask them and see what would happen, and it kind of spiralled from there."
Despite having had some of the greats like actor and singer Luke Evans, and actress Jess Impiazzi, Taylor isn’t fazed by the celebrity and fame his guests bring with them. “I don't care if you've got Grammys, you've got a million pounds, or if you're an Olympic medallist - you're still feeling that same fear, you're having the same level of anxiety, you're still crying at the Lion King and you're still going through exactly what I'm going through. You’re as human as I am. Don’t get me wrong though, there have been some moments I still don’t quite know how I’ve managed to pull this off!”
Another thing he is surprised about is how alike we all are, and rather than talking about our differences, we need to acknowledge that we’re all the same, whilst also marvelling at the chances of us being on this planet at this moment in time. He also admits that his biggest pinch-me moment to date is making a song with Sean Paul, during which one of the most iconic songs got its lyrics changed to mention The Waffle Shop Podcast and Taylor by name. Most of all, he is surprised how far a little bit of self-belief can take you.
It’s that self-belief that many of us struggle with so often and that sometimes leads us to dark places. I ask Taylor what kind of advice he’d give to someone who is struggling right now, and the first thing he tells me is to talk, as there will always be someone who will listen. In the age of modern technology, organisations like the Samaritans or Mind offer anonymous and non-judgemental help, meaning no one needs to feel any shame in asking for help. Taylor also believes that people should never feel they should battle everything alone.
“I keep going back to liken it to superhero films: None of them save the day by themselves. They always have a team or a network of people to fight with or to call as backup. Everyone brings different skills to the table to make things right again, and it’s the same for us in the real world. Get help if you’re struggling with your mental health. If you’d broken your leg you’d go to the hospital. Why is it so difficult to seek help for a broken mind?”
© Taylor James
With a strong message and a new season of thought-provoking episodes, Taylor has taken his podcast to the Wow Fest in Surrey, which was a huge success. In addition to this, he is looking forward to spending more time with his producer and friend Emma Tindall, who has also co-hosted some episodes with him. The future of The Waffle Shop Podcast is bright, shining a light on mental health and erasing the stigma around it waffle by waffle.
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